Thursday, March 19, 2009

Where Are We Going ... And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

Sometimes we put on a brave bravado and a smile when inside we feel like we’re drowning.

Sometimes we’d like to come out and tell people how stressed we are.

I have a hard time finding the correct balance between letting people know enough so I just don’t seem like a disturbed grumpy person, and not telling too much to where I seem like a complainer and whiner.

Endulge me for a moment ... Perhaps it will help me to just get it out.

-The truth of the matter is:

-Lots of times I feel like crying, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

-I’m too busy for such drama.

Sometimes I wish I would just have a complete mental breakdown because some time in a mental institution would seem like a nice vacation.
-I would never do that because I'd miss my boys too much and things would fall apart without me.

-I love my children dearly, but sometimes they drive me crazy.

-I worry about my kids a lot. I hope I’m doing enough for them, but I often feel like a failure.

-I think I could do more if I could find something to do that makes me happy. What is my calling? What am I good at?
-I know I need to do more for myself because a physically and mentally broken down wife and Mom doesn’t benefit anyone.

-I’m tired. I think I could sleep for a full week.


Lani said...

Just stumbled on your blog... and, I think you've been reading my mind. Everything in this post could have been said by me, if I had the courage to say it:

Megs said...

I'm just visiting too, but I just have to say "AMEN" to what you wrote. I have 9 month old twins and a 2 year old. I know those feelings: the exhaustion, the borderline insanity, the crying, the guilt.

but it sounds like you're doing an awesome job. Really.

And I love the picture of your deck with all those Little Tykes cars. What a crazy lovely life.