X-Rated Homework

I work for a school district ... I don't think that is a secret. If it was ... SURPRISE!

Anyway, I work on the central office side. Essentially, I make sure your child's school is clean, they get a nutritious lunch (stop laughing), and that they don't get killed by a school shooter (I'll bet that stopped your laughing).

I'll should talk about all the emergency management stuff I'm responsible for someday, but I find that my information either:
a. Depresses people
b. Scares people
c. A and B
d. All of the above

I could never be a teacher. I honestly think teaching is one of the most honorable jobs someone can do. Teachers are presented with so many different situations that they have to respond to professionally at all costs ... even the really funny situations.

For example, this assignment by a teacher is to draw your favorite thing: Obviously, this is a pair of scissors, right? Why? What did you think it looked like?

This homework assignment was to draw "What you want to be when you grow up":The little girl's mom works at Home Depot and this is her selling a shovel, by the way. I know it looks like the mom is a pole dancer, but she's not. Really ... minds out of the gutter people!

Actually, I'm casting stones here because I totally thought that these were drawings of things other than scissors and a women selling a shovel.

If I had been a teacher and gotten one of these drawings, I would have been wondering why the parents didn't check their kids homework instead of praising the child for being so original and creative.

(This, of course, would be what I would be thinking after I got done hysterically laughing at the paper, probably causing the child to have to go through years of therapy to realize that their teacher was laughing with them not at them.)

See, I would be a horrible teacher. Better that I stay behind the scenes and do what I am best at: checking to make sure all the gum is scrapped off the desks, serving the "mystery meat", and making sure Columbine never happens again.